America, you've really let yourself go.
I mean loosened the waist belt a couple of notches and then thought what the hell, I might as well give in and just run with the elasticized waist pants.
Such is the temper of the times in the current Republican Presidential nomination race. Temper being the operative word. It's a festival of fear, a frightstock fueled by unfathomable stupidity.
What's worse, it's being conducted by men - Carly Fiornia having sunk beneath the waves of machismo - who should know better.
Arriving in the USA as an interested outsider at any stage during presidential campaign provides you with a unique insight into the mindset of the nation. Having been here during the last 3 Presidential campaigns, it's clear Americans have all but given up on politics.
At least the sort of Disney politics depicted in "The West Wing" that enjoyed its coronation with Barak Obama's election in 2008.
Hell, they don't have much time anymore for the dystopian, carnivorous politics that was portrayed in "House Of Cards" either. I mean, nobody's hanging out for their Xmas card from Dick Cheney or Karl Rove to drop through their mailbox.
Anyway, those guys were too smart for these times. America has embraced its inner idiot.
And Donald Trump is happy to sell it to them.
Donald Trump is nobody's fool. He can spot a gap in the market and sell to the highest bidder. Trump has seen America's disillusionment with a grid locked Congress. He's exploited the anger felt by those who have wearied with the intractable war being waged by his fellow Republicans on the Obama presidency, harnessing the anger of people who feel alienated by a party that still hasn't accepted it let that guy get the keys to The White House not once but twice.
And whilst The Republicans have enjoyed a 7 year tantrum at the expense of building a case for re-election, Big Bronze Don has burst through the doors and given the people what they want.
A spectacle. A show. An all shouting, all ranting dose of Manhattan madness that keeps him in the headlines, out front in the polls and people glued to their TV sets.
The rest of the Republican field, which when gathered on the stage together at one of those TV candidate debates looks like a bunch of tired, middle aged men waiting to see a divorce lawyer, can't get a word in.
Which is a bittersweet outcome for the rest of us.
The Donald owns the airwaves.
From building walls on borders, banning Muslims, telling everyone he's got an ocean of cash and promising to "make America great again" by shouting it enough times in the hope that the rest of the world will just fold its tent and hide just to shut him up, Bronze Don is the only voice being heard in this race.
But for how long?
Who knows, but they expected him to flame out months ago and here he is heading into Iowa with a serious chance of winning and taking his dog and pony show into an election year.
No one here seriously believes Trump can win a general election. America might be off the ranch right now but its not quite ready to go full Mayor Quimby just yet.
What The Donald has done is reveal America's contempt for Washington. It's as if they feel the clowns in Congress need a new ringmaster and so lets send the bloke who owns the circus.
Trump's tabloid shocktics will allow an acceptable candidate to ghost in behind him - a Rubio for instance - and cherry pick his ideas all the while seeming like the voice of reason in an age of madness.
Trump will leverage The Republicans for a prize, because for The Donald, it's all about the dividend.
Sadly for America though, the price of giving up on politics is much higher than even it can afford.