Think Kramer V. Kramer
Or Katy Perry and Russell Brand.
In fact that last pair actually made more sense than anything emerging for the car wreck that is the Essendon Football Club and its coach James Hird today.
Eseendon wanted to end its agony by accepting Justice Middleton's Federal Court ruling on the legality of ASADA's joint investigation into The Bombers supplements program.
Hird, also party to the action, did not.
In one incisive and shattering moment the club and its coach collided head on, something that was inevitable from the moment early in 2013 when Hird refused to step aside from his job as coach pending the investigation into the clubs' infamous supplements regime.
The bottom line is this.
What is in the best interest of the football club was never going to align with what was in the best interest of its coach.
The club should be bigger than any one individual, even King James. Having rallied around the Stand By Hird war cry, the Bombers bought into the cult of personality and surrendered any critical distance from him.
Hird was Essendon.
Having been asked by the club to walk away from his case against ASADA, Hird defied The Bombers and pressed on.
If one of his players were to show such a brazen disregard for his coach's instructions and the club's best interest they would be frog marched out of the joint.
In a sign of just how dysfunctional The Essendon board is, it has allowed Hird to remain as coach whilst it swings in the breeze like the famous wind sock at Windy Hill.
It's like Lord Of The Flies at Essendon at the moment.
Hird has exercised his right to prioritise his self interest above that of the football club.
It is his right to do so, but for him to continue to spin the line that he's doing it for everyone else's sake - the club, the players, the fans, probably for Katy and Russell - is beyond laughable.
That he insists on doing so knowing that it's against the wishes of his football club yet wants to remain as coach despite such fundamental and irreconcilable differences reveals the naked truth even to the most hardened Hirdolites.
It's all about Jim.
It always has been.
And it will continue to be until someone has the courage to take the conch away.